Children’s etiquette training has much broader implications for a polite society than simply saying please and thank you. The primary reason for practicing etiquette is to make us feel safe as we go about our day brushing elbows with strangers. If we thought that we could be accosted by our neighbors because they disapproved of the color of our trash cans, or wrestled to the floor of the grocery store because somebody wanted the melon we just selected, we would all lock ourselves up in our houses and never come out.
Practicing etiquette is about valuing and showing respect for others and living with integrity. The majority of us do not live in bubbles and it is imperative that we learn to live peacefully amongst each other. We must teach our children that grievances are bound to come up and when they do people must be treated with dignity and respect. The complainant is obligated to address his concerns in terms of how he feels and not what others should do to make him feel pacified. “You hand over that melon to me now!”
Recently a situation arose that demonstrates this point precisely. I felt compelled to write a letter to our neighborhood board of directors after an older neighbor made a rude remark, about families with children, at a community board meeting. (I have changed the names in the letter.)
Letter to the Board:
“It was with great sadness that I read the comment, “People with children would be better off choosing to live in other neighborhoods like River Trail.” printed on page 18 of The Woodbury Word May 2009 edition. The neighbor making this hurtful statement was commenting at a Board of Director’s meeting, to a young family’s request to place a swing set unobtrusively in their back yard following our development’s deed restrictions. The family is new to our neighborhood…welcome. ”
» Read more: Children’s Etiquette Training – Do Your Part to Maintain a Civil Society